For Years I Didn’t Even Realise I Was Living in Fight or Flight

🎧 “O, I Love You” – Essie Jain

I went from a lifetime of living in fight or flight to living in a slowed down state of flow and peace.

Now that I’ve experienced what life is like outside of that stressed state, it’s easier for me to notice when I’ve slipped back into it. It slips back in subtle ways, sometimes without me even realising it.

Here’s what I’m noticing, and what might help someone who’s in that in-between stage of unlearning hustle culture and learning how to slow down:

• Bringing awareness to being in this panicky state is step one. Because once you’re aware that you’re in fight or flight, you see it from a higher perspective. You’re no longer in it. And in that moment, you’re back in the present.
• When I’m in it, I notice my thoughts first. They’re generally along the lines of, “Ok Elena, you have this 1 hour window to get all of these things done.” It’s thoughts that rush me to move faster and get things done quicker. Thoughts that add pressure on myself to get things done now. Thoughts that make me feel like I need to hurry or I’m going to fall behind.
• Then there’s the environment. There are certain items I’ve associated with stress that trigger me straight into that state, and the thoughts and energy that come with it. For example, opening up my laptop and logging into my work account. Looking at my task list and instantly feeling like I need to get all of it done now. Nothing external is actually happening. But internally, my body shifts. Stimulants like coffee, I know, can push me more into a fight or flight state (but I love my morning coffee way too much to give that up).
• Then there’s the physical signs. Tense shoulders, I feel like I need a massage. Dizziness. Brain fog. Quick, rushed actions like rummaging through my bag. Eating fast. Writing fast. Typing fast. Walking fast. Not present. Just moving.

All these little things we’ve associated with stress from past experiences. When we’ve repeatedly been in a rushed state while doing certain activities, our nervous system links them together. So when they show up again in our environment, it can trigger that stress response without us even noticing.

And it isn’t just activities and environments. It can be people, conversation topics etc.

So how do I pull myself back out of it?

Firstly, I stop everything I’m doing. I close the laptop. I put the work away.

I place my hand on my heart and say, “I am safe to slow down. It’s ok.” And I repeat it.

I breathe and bring awareness back to my breath.

I use whatever mindfulness practice I feel I need in that moment. I generally turn to meditation. Closing my eyes and centering myself by turning my focus inward. Allowing the noises going on around me to just be, and bringing my attention back to myself for however long I feel I need.

Then when I start my day again, or come back to my work, I’m doing it from a grounded place. Not from a forced or rushed state.

And here’s what I’ve realised: it’s actually more efficient for me to work from a slowed down state.

This is where the ideas, the creative solutions come. Where flow happens. Where productivity feels easier.

When I try to force myself to be productive in a stressed state, I don’t actually get anywhere faster. I end up using the same amount of time, getting less deep focused work done and struggling through it.

So I slow down my movements. I eat slower. I write slower.

And I begin again. From a slower, more grounded, happy place.

Also on my Substack.