I Believe You’ve Got to Be a Little Delulu to Get What You Want in Life

🎧 Love Lost – Mac Miller, The Temper Trap

I always believe the universe has my back. No matter what.

Whenever I do something that scares me, like when I threw my life up in the air at 2 years ago, the thing that got me through it was my undeniable trust that the universe supported me no matter what. I genuinely believed that for me to take such an act of courage, the universe would have no other option but to reward me.

In my delulu brain, when I do the shit that scares me, I know 110%. Even if I’m scared, if I put myself out there and leap, I will be okay. I’ll throw myself in the deep end of the unknown and I’ll always land on my feet, because the universe has got me.

I trust it and believe it 110%. Which yeah, sure, on some level makes me delulu. But I believe you have to be a bit delulu to get what you want.

To have that complete faith is one thing. How I got there is what I’ve been reflecting on today. I actually realised recently that I’ve unknowingly been collecting little pieces of proof that this belief is, in fact, true. And I guess that’s how any belief works, right, when you believe something, your mind literally creates things in your reality to support it. Whether it’s a positive belief or a negative one. I’ve spoken to locals here in Vietnam and they’ve told me they’ve never seen a scooter accident. But because I’ve been so fearful of riding, I saw three scooter accidents in the span of 48 hours. Isn’t that wild.

Anyway, back to the positive belief. That the universe has my back no matter what. The little pieces of proof my brain has been collecting.

It’s the start of week 3 of overcoming my fear of riding a scooter, and I’ve been thinking about the times I was most scared riding. Every single time, the universe dropped a little piece of magic at the exact moment I needed it. And by magic I mean the universe gifted me with something to bring me back into the present moment. Because of my fear around riding, I go straight into fight or flight the second I get on the bike. Some days it’s minimal. Other days, hormonal, energy off, weather, confidence knocked, my anxiety is heightened. And it’s on those days that the universe has shown up.

Gift from the universe #1. I went to my lesson feeling really fight or flighty, hadn’t slept well, and got there to find the person before me had just had an accident on the bike I was about to use. There was chaos everywhere in the carpark I was practicing in: kids running around flying kites, cars with learners practicing driving, hazards and noise left, right and centre. I was off my game and it wasn’t getting better, half an hour in, overthinking everything, confidence at an all time low. Then I saw a little puppy. The cutest little Bali doggo. And I knew he was sent to me to ground me back down to earth. He hung around while I practiced, and just being with him was the constant reminder that none of what was going on in my body and mind actually mattered. He kept bringing me home to myself. Reminding me the fear isn’t even real.

Gift from the universe #2. The very first time I rode solo, I was planning to ride to a cafe but decided to follow my intuition instead, and it guided me toward the rice fields. I went down this little road and got scared when a huge truck came barrelling toward me. I had to tip over to the side, hanging off the edge of the pavement to let it pass. Right after that, my gift: a huge, friendly water buffalo. I stayed with him for half an hour, completely brought back into the present moment, reminded why I was learning to ride in the first place. For the freedom. For being able to stop wherever I want and let magic like this happen.

Gift from the universe #3. I’d just moved into the city in Da Nang, only on day three of riding solo. Busy roads, new area, new road rules, all of it. I was so anxious I didn’t even want to go to the bike shop to hire the bike, the whole errand was an anxiety attack in itself. I’d contacted the owner beforehand about two bikes I was interested in, and he said only one was available, the one I’d already been practicing on in Hoi An, which felt like a small mercy. But when I got there and test-rode it, it felt completely different. The throttle was way more sensitive, my feet barely grazed the ground where before I’d at least been on my tiptoes. I had to stop multiple times just to calm my heart rate. Ten minutes of going up and down this tiny alley, workers watching me like they hoped I wouldn’t hit them, then the owner rides over on the other bike. The one I’d actually wanted. “The person just returned it,” he said. In that exact window of time, on that exact morning, the bike that was easier, lower to the ground, meant to be mine, just appeared. Random? I don’t think so. It was on purpose. It was meant to be. He even drove me home himself so I didn’t have to navigate the busy roads on it straight away.

Gift from the universe #4. Day one of riding solo in Da Nang. Even the thought of getting the bike off its parking spot gave me anxiety, it was on the slightest incline, and honestly, even now in week 3, that still gets me. I know it’s silly, but my mind and body still go there. I rode to a quiet street to practice, going up and down, building confidence, and a little boy came out to watch. We chatted a bit over Google Translate, I told him I was learning to ride, and he went and got his own bicycle so he could ride up and down the road with me. From that day on, every time I came back to practice, he was there. Another small magic, grounding me out of the fear.

The last one I’ll mention: the other day, feeling off, period due, hadn’t ridden in a few days, not exactly my most confident self. I rode down that same quiet street and found the cutest kids sitting on parked scooters, lying on them, completely fearless. I ended up having the most beautiful moment playing with them, chatting, climbing all over my bike, genuinely a little scared it might topple and hurt them, but they were so carefree it didn’t matter. The fear of riding just disappeared.

I’ve thought of so many other gifts since writing this, but I’ll leave it there or I’ll be writing all night.

It always comes back to faith, and to what we believe. The belief that has gotten me through it all, the scary times, the dark moments, the fears, is that the universe has my back no matter what. And the micro magic moments that have happened over my life, and in just these past few weeks of overcoming my fear of riding, are proof for myself that the belief is real.

So if you’re contemplating whether or not to do the thing that scares you, remember the universe has got you. It doesn’t matter how scary it is. It’s about jumping into the unknown without knowing what’s going to happen. That’s when you get backed 110%. The thing you’ve been putting off. Commit and do it. Because what have you got to lose, really? The universe has supported you always, through the dark, through the tough times. You’ve made it through every hard thing so far, so what’s different now?

If you’re still doubting, collect the data. Write down all the times the universe has supported you, and start making that belief 110% real from the proof in your own life. You’ve got this! ✨